Discussing Therapy With Parents is a Sensitive Topic

As a psychotherapist with decades of experience working with children and teens, discussing therapy with parents is the most popular topic at youth mental health workshops. It can be an overwhelming conversation for many teens. The stigma surrounding mental health makes this conversation difficult, particularly in cultures where therapy is still seen as taboo or a sign of weakness or parental failure.

Therapy can be life-changing for teenagers in their formative years. Understanding emotions and learning how to deal with them productively does not always come intuitively. Having open conversations with your parents about your mental health is an important step in your development. If you are not sure how to begin, here are a few tips.

Understand Yourself First

Before discussing therapy with your parents, understand why you want therapy and what benefits you hope to gain from it.

Are you overwhelmed by stress, anxiety, or sadness? Do you feel socially isolated? Are there specific incidents, such as bullying or a family conflict, that have affected your mental health?

The benefits of therapy could include developing coping strategies, building emotional resilience, and having a safe space to discuss your thoughts and feelings. Understand these issues and learn how to articulate them clearly.

Timing For Discussing Therapy with Parents

Timing is half the battle when it comes to discussing therapy with parents. Avoid bringing it up when they are rushed, such as at dinnertime or at work. Pick a time when your parents are calm, relaxed, and open to conversation. Also, find an environment that is quiet and distraction-free.

Below are examples of issues that may come up during your conversation. By anticipating them, you can prepare thoughtful and informed answers. If, during your discussion, questions come up that you cannot answer, make notes and promise to follow up with answers in the near future.

Your Parents’ Perspective

Your parents are shaped by their own upbringing, beliefs and environment. They may have concerns or misconceptions about therapy that keep them from opening up immediately to the prospect of you seeking therapy.

Demonstrate that you value their opinion by acknowledging their trepidations. This can help you open the door to having a productive conversation with them about mental health. Also, keep your tone respectful, be honest, and ensure this remains a discussion and not a demand. Here are examples of topics that may come up when discussing therapy with parents.

Mental Health Stigma

If your parents are unfamiliar with mental health therapy, they might minimize your need for it. Ensure your parents understand that your need for support is not a sign of failure or weakness. Rather, therapy is a common and healthy practice that many people use for self-improvement and healing. It’s a proactive way to take care of yourself, just as you would with a physical injury that caused you pain or discomfort.

Impress upon them that mental health treatment modalities are backed by research and scientific evidence. For example, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has been tried, tested and proven over decades. Perhaps you can find a helpful article or video online that you can watch together.

Personal Failure

Some parents may get defensive during the discussion, seeing it as a sign of their own failure. This will lead to resistance. In this circumstance, hear them out and then gently turn the conversation back to you. While you do not need to go into details, try to help them understand the essence of what you are struggling with.

For example, you might say, “I’ve been feeling really anxious lately, and it’s starting to impact my daily life. Talking to a professional could help me understand why I feel this way and how I can better manage it.” 

Your goal is to impress upon them how therapy can help you build healthier relationships with them, other family members, and your social circle.

Cost of Mental Health Therapy

The costs related to mental health therapy may be of concern to some parents. In this case, you can research free clinics at local community and health centres. You might also find groups and workshops where the cost of therapy is shared by several participants and where you find others who share your experiences. If your parents have insurance coverage through work, find out what it will cover. Similarly, does your post-secondary college or university offer mental health support services?

Also, your guidance counsellor can support your mental health needs and make referrals, and you can also contact your family doctor and speak to them confidentially.

The Family Reputation

Your parents’ personal biases may lead them to worry about what others in the community might say about you being in therapy. You can assure them that mental health therapy is completely confidential. What you discuss with your therapist stays between you. In fact, the only thing others might notice are the positive changes you have gleaned from being in therapy.

Getting Support

If you’re still unsure about talking to your parents on your own, seek support from other trusted individuals, such as a school counsellor, family friend, or relative. Sometimes, a third party can help mediate the conversation and provide a perspective that makes it easier for your parents to understand

Give Them Time

Your parents may not immediately agree with your decision to seek therapy. Some need time to process the information and come to terms with the idea. Be patient and give them space to ask questions, express their concerns, and share their thoughts. If they are still uncertain, offer to involve them in the process by discussing the therapist’s qualifications and the types of therapy they offer. You can also invite them to attend the first session with you to put their mind at ease.

Taking Care of Yourself

Discussing therapy with parents can be daunting. However, it is an important step toward taking care of yourself. By preparing for the conversation, being honest and clear about your feelings, addressing their concerns, and being patient, you can increase the likelihood of having a positive outcome.

Remember, therapy is a powerful tool for personal growth, emotional healing, and overall well-being. Opening the door to this conversation is the first step to getting you the help and support you deserve.

At Shanti Psychotherapy, we care deeply about children, teens and families. Contact us to learn how we can make therapy available and affordable.